my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
