So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
