my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize