Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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