It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
