No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
