just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
