hotel room ftw
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
