Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
