i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
