dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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