**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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