so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
