I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
