can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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