It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
