nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
