You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
