Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
