If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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