Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
time to smoke my breakfast
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize