You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
