And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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