i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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