she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize