It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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