Quick, to the slutcave!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
