Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
