I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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