i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
