Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
