We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
