its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
