Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
