The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
