Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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