Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
