Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
