Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
