Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
