She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize