I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
