I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
