And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
