My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
