Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize