Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
