**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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