He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
