Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
