I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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