How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
