Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
