Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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