I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
