You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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