I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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