$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
