Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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