I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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