I feel like I'm in dance class right now
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
