Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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