Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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