in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
