Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize