I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
