I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
