careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize