it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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