Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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