Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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