I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
