i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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