Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
