Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
