my vag is so smooth its legendary
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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