So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
