No stitches, just platelets and will power
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Randomize
