Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
