don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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